Thursday, January 10, 2008

O.K now that I am back from my 2 month writing slump I think I will start this new blog with this.
Conflict has driven millions of people around the world insane and thousands more have developed some sort of clinical depression. I just don't get why so much hatred has to flow back and forth between people. It really is something that bothers me, which brings me to my actual piece of the day. This whole nice guy thing is what I'm gunna be on today for one really big reason. It used to be me.

For years I have been the one in my family, and just in my family I'm totally different when out with friends, who was just that nice like able kid. I went out of my way for everyone, just looked out for all their interests and basically did the whole selfless act thing.

until recently I was somehow, and to this day i still have no idea how and why, labeled the official message carrier and divorce therapist for my parents. which for four years i toughed out and dealt with. I have recently moved out of one house and into another, and in an attempt to make things easier on myself I was attacked, criticized, and pretty much guilt tripped until the cows came home, which they still haven't done by the way...bastards.

So after that one of the two decided that more people needed to be involved and told of my treason, so now more of my family including people I really looked up to and whose company I both enjoyed and needed at this point of my life are against me as well. And it seems even though there are clearly two sides in this battle that every party has their own seperate side as well. So now we have created a massive civil war/feud within my very own family. and ofcourse who takes the brunt of the blame, me.

Now I am in no way saying that I haven't wronged at least one of these people who will remain unamed because when this is read i am going to be recieving enough fire as it is. But that isn't my problem. my problem is that my family, the people whom I look to most when in a time of need are against me. lucky for me this is only a piece if the pie.

For years, the exact amount escapes me at the moment, I have been nothing but helpful to many people. and until recently i expected nothing in return, but now I realize that certain people I was doing things for were just being jackasses about it. for example instead of ask9ing for my help when i came to the house for other reasons i was just expected to help, which wasn't the problem, when I said I was not going to be able to they were so upset and angry they decided to pour on some more bullshit. Great.

So I have decided and already begun to declare that my days of being selfless and prety much just an all around good guy are over. And so far I have gotten one guilt trip, one angered verbal attack, and one parent who decides to belittle me each time I go to his sons house, but that has been the case for years and quite frankly I never liked him.

So this is my official declaration and you my non-existent readers are my witnesses that I say: "thats too bad you should have acted less like manipulative pricks and more like thankful people."

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