Seinfeld does it, why can't i?

I am watching the office right now and i must say, i am not impressed. As a matter of fact i want to drive to Steve Carrels house right now and smash a fire hydrant into his crotch. i really have no idea what to right so for the entirety of this blog I am going to talk about absolutely nothing of importance.

For years this question has been bothering me and truthfully i don't think anyone knows the answer. its the one about the two trains leaving different places at the same time one going a set speed, how fast does the other have to go? Who the hell comes up with this shit? is there some disgruntled mathematician who hates life that writes this and grins because he knows some child will forever be turned away from math because of this question therefore resulting in the systematic destruction of their life. Yeah that's really what happens too, its scary shit i know but that's life.

Life itself is just straight up evil. There are so many things in this world that just exist to make peoples lives more difficult. For instance, wind chimes. Let's invent a bunch of really noisy metal things and hang them by strings outside so we know when the wind is blowing, because just stepping outside is just too much of a hassle. Another example of useless shit we allow in this world, throw pillows. How spectacular is having 15 pillows on your bed/couch that you oh so merrily have to remove before you go to bed and put back on once you make it. Such a wonderful invention, however i think i would prefer being flogged.

To wrap up this wonderfully interesting post i'll will finish with bottled water and how god damned expensive it is. Hey let's take the one thing that every person on the planet needs to survive, pollute the shit out of it, then take all of the clean stuff, bottle it, and charge 3 dollars for it. Isn't being a douche bag fun? That conversation, however, leads into how evil corporate America truly is. And i will save that for another rainy day, because today simply isn't dismal enough. But it's close.