Monday, April 28, 2008

Do you know who i am

So yesterday i was driving down the street perpendicular to mine on my way to pick up a friend and get something to eat. there was a pot hole in the road, so obviously i moved to the other side of the street to avoid it. While doing so a bicyclist was riding in the middle of the road coming towards me. He clearly sees me but decides to stand his ground, so i swerve out of the way to avoid him. I'm assuming as a way of showing his appreciation he decided to flip me off. Well. That wasn't going to fly with me. So i make the 3 pointer, fly by him, and cut him off at the pot hole. I casually step out of my car and proceed to scream at this arrogant prick while grasping the collar of his shirt. the conversation went as follows:

Me: "hey jackass come here." (i grab his collar and point to the pot hole)(keep in mind he was like 4'3" and really small, if he was bigger than me i would have let it go, but I'm a bully so it's ok.) "what is that in the road."

Biker: (after a long pause and me asking the question 3 more times.) "it's a pot hole, get off me man I'm sorry alright."

Me: "Do you know what potholes do to cars? o i don't think so cuz you're too cool for four wheels you use two. Well they are bad for cars which is why i avoided this particular one asshole. Now Why the hell did you decided to flip me off?"

Biker: "i thought you were messing with me man alright i said i was sorry."

Me: "Sorry doesn't cut it, you were straight up ride and you thought well im in the middle of the road but it's ok because i live in north andover so i'm better than everyone else. well listen to this buddy. if i'm gunna mess with you, im not gunna swerve out of the way. i'm gunna run ur ass over, and smile while i'm doing it you rich egocentric prick. now go ride ur bike home and thank god i didn't kick your ass today. and next time remember, cars are bigger than bikes. And the people in them are not friendly. So next time just don't go out you dumb bastard." (I release his collar, casually walk back to my car and drive away with a shit eating grin on my face.


Now, for any and all bikers who might read this. I am very proud of what i have done. I don't need your opinion, because I hate you and you are not real people. If anyone else has a problem with this. Again, i really don't care. Bikers are not only obnoxious, but they are arrogant. especially when theres no one to let them know they can't just do whatever they want. So there. Bite me.

1 comment:

tired of it said...

You are full of shit.

At least you better be.

Or I'll beat the crap out of you.