Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I have decided to continue writing the angry letters due to the various forms of enjoyment expressed to me from my readers. However today I am going to mix it up a bit. On the drive home from work today I was thinking about a different form of letter I have been thinking about writing. It is completely serious and I promise not to make any cynical or sarcastic comments throughout the letter. This is something i take very seriously. If you will, use your imagination and read the letter as if it were being read by a young girl. For the effect to make sense. I hope you enjoy it.

Dear Santa,

I know it isn't Christmas time yet but since I have been good all year I was thinking it would be OK for me to write to you now. I know I ask for presents every year and I know you try really hard to make them for me and all the other children with the elves. But this year I want something else. And I want you to read this letter first before everyone else's because it's a tuffy. I am really scared Santa and I know that if anyone can help me it's you.

Mommy and Daddy fight all the time and I think you should fix that first. Mommy says that if Mr. Obamma becomes president that we wont be able to live in our house anymore cuz he wants too much money from us. But daddy says that if Mr. Mccain becomes the president that he will lose his job to the 'Wet Backs'. I don't know who they are but I don't like it when daddy talks about them. Today mommy told me that daddy was going to live with Uncle Mike for a while because him and mommy had a fight and Uncle Mike was gunna make things better. I know that she wasn't telling the truth cuz she was crying, and mommy fibs when she cries.

I don't know what to do Santa. Mommy says we can't go to the park a lot cuz it's too expensive to drive. And daddy wont play with me at Uncle Mikes cuz he has to do work at home now too. He said his boss didn't have enough money for all of Daddy's work friends, so daddy is doing their work for them to save his boss some money. Santa mommy and daddy haven't been very nice to each other. they keep telling me everything will be OK, but I can hear mommy crying at night. And daddy drinks his smelly juice more than he used to. He yells at mommy over the phone a lot, and yesterday he yelled at me too. Santa I didn't want to cry when daddy yelled but i had to. So Santa what I really want for Christmas this year is this. I want you to make mommy and daddy happy again. So first you have to make daddy's job easier and give his friends their jobs back. then you have to tell Mr. Obamma that mommy and daddy cant afford to pay for his taxes. And then you need to tell Mr. Mccain that those people with wet backs that daddy doesn't like, can't have his job and Mr. Mccain needs to make them go back to their homes. And finally you have to make mommy's car not spend so much gas when we drive, or you could make the gas people ask for less money.

Santa all these people are making mommy and daddy not happy and I don't like it. So will you please help me Santa. I don't want mommy and daddy to fight anymore. Can you make all these bad things go away so my parents will love me again?

Love, Hope

1 comment:

tired of it said...

Nice. Clever.
Maybe Santa could write back? Just don't make Sarah skin Rudolph although she could. She's my homegirl.