Monday, September 8, 2008

Is it sad, interesting or just plain wierd?

Late last night while admiring the rather unwelcome heat wave I found myself writing the eulogies of my loved ones. My first reaction was to check myself into a psych ward. Then i realized I don't care in the least bit if I am crazy and I am certainly not going to check myself into a nut house over something that, quite honestly, doesn't bother me in the least bit. Also knowing that it may very well bother the people around me, mainly the people I writing about in the first place, made me feel even better about what I was doing. However this doesn't mean I want any of these people to die. Leave me alone and lose their ability to speak, yes. But not death, that's reserved for people like politicians and girlfriends fathers.

But to resume my rant for the day, I became very aware of things to come and a wave of emotion, however unlikely that may seem, slapped me in the face. Much like the prom queen would if I told her she was a total sellout. Or maybe even a future starter wife/gold digger with no future of her own other than a sad pathetic existence composed of nothing more than the raising of her children. Accompanied by an almost certain divorce from the husband that isn't marry her for love. Just sex. And maybe an alibi. Maybe. If you are reading this and you are, will be or were a prom queen just consider this a warning. For further looks into your future please contact me via email which is posted somewhere on this web-page. For complaints feel free to contact my complaint center at 1-978-382-5968. And for those of you looking for the secret hidden in today's message, open your phone and translate the last 7 digits of the number I just gave you.

After that feel free to continue reading, or if you have been offended there is no pressure. I have no real feelings of regret, or anything else for that matter. So if you are just reading to feed my ego, I am full and you are free to go. For those of you that haven't been weeded out by my rigorous selection system please continue reading below.

Once I finished writing the first, which for those of you that are interested was for my father, I stooped immediately to think about what I had written. I realized by this point that what I was doing was, for lack of a better word, weird. But it told me something. Having written this and not really thinking about it gave me some insight as to how I really felt towards my father. Which up until this point I figured was mild distaste sprinkled with a dash of aggravation and resentment. Although each of the previous feelings are true and still play a part in how i feel about him, I realized something else. I had a lot of wonderful things to say about him. It is very true that upon someones death we all have regrets. So long as we know that person. Unless you were the cause you never really feel bad about someone you didn't know dying. i mean there are exceptions but you get the general idea. And if you don't then leave. I am not sure how you evaded my very precise selection process but go away, you are not worthy of my words.

Anyways. When someone dies we realize all the things we wished we had gotten to do with them while they were alive. We miss the good things and ultimately over look the bad. We revert back to a time where we never said things behind peoples back, or for some to their faces. We become purified, and for that moment think only of good things. Even though it may have a sad or regretful undertone, the things we wish we could have accomplished are all good. So in death we realize all the good in our hearts and even if it is just for that moment we experience forgiveness and love. Death may be one of the most depressing things on this planet, and I will never be one to say otherwise. But in death we realize things about ourselves that we should never forget. it could very well make us better people. We just have to go to a lot of funerals. And if need be a few wakes, but don't over do it. Bad things may happen. Too much of a good thing is bad, it can be catastrophic. Enough death in your life and we are looking at a very large flock of serial killers. And I really don't want that blood on my hands. So relax people, really, just chill out and stop trying to make me look bad. You guys are so selfish, it makes me sick.

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