Monday, April 27, 2009

Really world, we're gunna do this?

So swine flu is here. AWESOME. And to make things even better, apparently the approved vaccinations don't work against this strain. So now we are taking every precaution to prevent it's spreading. People are ordering masks like crazy, vacations to Mexico are being postponed and canceled, and Northeastern kept their students from shaking hands at graduation...? Listen kids this is the Flu, not Ebola. If I go to introduce myself to someone and they don't shake my hand because I might get Flu cooties, there will be blood.

I understand that this is an illness for which there is no vaccine at the moment. I understand that it has the capability of killing, I understand that it's highly contagious, and I also understand that it is attacking healthy 18-40 year-olds immune systems and creating adverse effects. What I don't understand is why we can't at least pretend that we aren't doomed. I have done an excellent job of keeping my panic attacks to a minimum in public, although when I hear someone cough I do pee a little.

For all of those reading this with no understanding of sarcasm you can relax and stop judging me, I am kidding.

I just feel as though people are taking this way too seriously. There is, of course, some reason to be concerned. But this is the same for all new strains of a disease and hey guys guess what, people are still here. We have yet to become extinct despite years of religious intolerance, a hunger for war, a lack of available resources and an overall addiction to ignorance. So, I think we're going to make it through Miss Piggy coughing on someone. Just relax people. If you feel you're going to cry because of the intense pressure this is putting on you do the world a favor, dig a hole and stay there because you have a stress tolerance of negative 30 and are unfit for society.

Hope you enjoyed it. If not then stop reading and get over yourself

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